This is my first February in seven years that I’m not living alone. Let me tell you, it’s made a world of difference. February is always one of my dullest months — the last brutal stretch of cold before the earth begins a new cycle. To be with someone every day who makes me smile on my hardest days makes those long, cold weeks so much brighter.
If January was steady, February was… not. This was the month of one year sober. Six years with my partner. Seven months of watching my niece discover the world — and start crawling! And in between all of that: civic action, injury, sickness, and early mornings watching the Olympics like it was a national ritual.
The kettle’s been on all month.
February was about standing in the life I’ve built.
Highlights ✨
February marks one year of sobriety. I don’t think I’ve committed to anything for an entire year quite like this before. It has made my days brighter, my evenings more enjoyable, and my relationships stronger. I dedicated a whole post to it earlier this week that summarizes my relationship with alcohol throughout my life.
Long story short, sobriety allowed me to get up early to watch my niece at swimming, to cheer on Team Canada in the mornings, and to have the emotional capacity to be the caregiver I needed to be this month.
I celebrated six years with my partner. It feels equal parts like we’ve been together forever and like it was just yesterday. Our ability to talk about everything and nothing still amazes me. His ability to make me feel calm and confident — in myself and in us — is a comfort I’ve never had before. We somehow make even the most ordinary nights feel fun.
We faced (and won) political discourse in my city this month. The Winnipeg government brought forward the “Safe Access to Vulnerable Infrastructure Bylaw #7,” a law that infringes on freedom of thought, belief, opinion, expression, and peaceful assembly under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. In a moment when rights and freedoms are being trampled just below our border, getting this bylaw tabled felt like a significant win. We’ll need to stay vigilant — it sounds like it may return in another form.
The Olympics felt more important than ever this year. While facing so much hostility from supposed allies, coming together as a nation over sport felt grounding. As the Games came to a close, hockey overshadowed everything — still Canada’s game. It didn’t end how we wanted, but I could not be more proud of both our teams who gave their all on the ice.
My niece hit seven months of brightening our lives. Things she’s taught me include: babies pick up on everything you do, they change incredibly quickly, and gagging doesn’t necessarily mean choking (auntie learned that the hard way and cried out of sheer panic). I’ve thought a lot about the kind of role model I want to be for her. I want to be the auntie who encourages her to chase whatever she wants. The one she comes to when she succeeds — or fails. The one who spoils her rotten with love and makes her laugh uncontrollably. More than anything, I want to be a safe place for her.
Challenges 🌧
We had to slow way down in our house this month. Between a back injury and a second cold in as many months, we had no choice but to rest and take care of each other. I learned how exhausting caregiving can be — but what buoyed me was love. I just wanted us back at 100%, and if we couldn’t be at 100%, then at least as comfortable as possible until we got there.
We had family and friends stop by with food and support, and it reminded me how fortunate we are.
Lessons 🧠
I am capable of long-term change.
Love grows when you show up for each other.
I don’t have to burn out to prove anything to anyone.
Being present is the best you can do for yourself and the people you love.
Letting Go Of 🔥
The version of me who thought she needed alcohol to cope.
The idea that rest must be earned.
(And hopefully) sickness — we’ve had enough.
Pettiness I’m still carrying from the Olympics.
Carrying Forward 🌱
Caring for my body.
Pride in my sobriety.
Continued creativity.
Being present.
Intentions for Next Month 🔮
Finish the final two parts of Aynsley Court Remains.
Build my energy and strength back up with regular workouts.
Keep writing in this incredible space I’ve created.
Return to reading more Substack short stories.
The kettle’s on. Pour yourself a cup and join me at the table.
Steeping in This Month ☕️
📚 Reading:
📺 Watching:
🎧 Listening:
🕹️ Playing:
Published This Month 💻
Brittany J. L. May
Aynsley Court Mysteries💻
Midnights in Apartment #3
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